Squidge
by suricata



For the Estrogen Combat Brigade: past, present, and future members...





Oh. My. God.

Okay, I'm breathing. Breathing. In, out...okay, maybe not the best imagery to use. Wow. And...wow. How come he never sang before? How come he never told us he sang? And I thought listening to him talk was sexy...

Bad thoughts. Very bad thoughts. That's why he never sang for us. Little puddles of Willow-drool all over the library floor.

Did Buffy know about this? And she didn't tell? God, I love her, but she's going to die.

I used to joke about being Oz's groupie. I didn't know what I was talking about. My boyfriend was with the band. That's different. This...I'd follow him anywhere, do anything he asked, if he'd just sing again. Sing to me, not all these people. Sing for me.

Did I just whimper?

Xander doesn't get it. It's like a hormone thing, I think. I can hear Tara's breathing speed up. She gets it. Even Anya gets it, I think. Well, I can tell you for sure now, Xander doesn't have to worry about being gay. Unless maybe he's protesting too much?

Oh God, he saw us. I was afraid he'd stop singing, but he kept on...is he embarrassed? He shouldn't be. Nu-uh. God, he's good. Why didn't he tell us? Why didn't we know? How can you know someone that long, and not know something like this?

"Does he do this often?"

No. Damnit. God, Xander, just shut up!

His voice is making my toes curl, and my insides feel all fizzy and fuzzy, and...God, I'm wet. Just listening to his voice.

"Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him in High School."

Eeeep. Okay, mouth engaged before brain was in gear. Bad Willow. I think Xander's going to have a coronary. But I did. Have a crush on him, I mean. Before he was 'our Giles,' when he was Buffy's Giles. Which sounds wrong, but I know what I mean. Before he was a friend, not just a guy with gentle hands and beautiful, expressive eyes and a voice like warm velvet. Although he still has all those things, I just didn't notice them any more. Not individually I mean. He was just, y'know, Giles.

I'm babbling. Even in my own brain I can hear the babble.

I had it all under control. Really I did. All gone, no more crush. Only now all those feelings have gotten jumpstarted again, and can you come just from listening to someone sing? I think I can.

"It's pleasant."

Nice understatement there, Anya. Pleasant. Uh-huh. Yeah. I think Xander's completely and totally wigged now, poor guy.

"C'mon," I say to him, turning to catch a look at his face. "It is kinda sexy."

Oh yeah. Mrs. Harris, I'm sorry, but we wigged Xander to death...

Oh God. I hope someone in the Pump is recording this...